Parenting is the hardest job you can ever have. There are no books, classes, or experiences, outside of actual parenting, which will prepare you for the job. Talking to kids is hard. There are so many barriers to communication. Sometimes they're angry, sometimes they're sad, sometimes they're listening to their friends instead of you, and sometimes no matter what you say, it is just not right.
Now add to that prison, incarceration, or long times away. This is just another set of barriers between you and your ability to parent your child.
Children need their parents. No matter what has transpired between you, no matter how rough your previous relationship was, or your parenting style, children need their parents. Children are very curious and very capable of bouncing back.
Anyone who has ever been to prison knows the long hours of waiting, long hours with nothing to do, and the incredible boredom that goes from day to day. There are no weekends, there are no holidays, and one day blends into the next, over and over and over again.
It is very easy for a parent to become discouraged. It is very easy for a parent to feel like they have nothing to offer their child, while they are stuck in this endless cycle of days.
This belief is false. Reality is: you have a lot to offer your child. You have yourself, your time, and your interest. Prison cannot take away what you have to offer your child. Prison can push you down, and make you feel worthless, but prison cannot make you worthless. Your child is interested in you, simply because you are the parent.
All children want to be cared about. All children want to feel that they are important to someone else. It is part of our upbringing, a part of us so deep and solid it can never be taken away. The need to belong is more powerful than almost all of the other needs we have. Your child needs to belong to a family. You are part of that family. Families are not defined by distance, location, or current events.
Families can be separated by time and space for years, and still maintain family bonds. On the flip-side, some families live under the same roof for decades, and they never bond.
Now add to that prison, incarceration, or long times away. This is just another set of barriers between you and your ability to parent your child.
Children need their parents. No matter what has transpired between you, no matter how rough your previous relationship was, or your parenting style, children need their parents. Children are very curious and very capable of bouncing back.
Anyone who has ever been to prison knows the long hours of waiting, long hours with nothing to do, and the incredible boredom that goes from day to day. There are no weekends, there are no holidays, and one day blends into the next, over and over and over again.
It is very easy for a parent to become discouraged. It is very easy for a parent to feel like they have nothing to offer their child, while they are stuck in this endless cycle of days.
This belief is false. Reality is: you have a lot to offer your child. You have yourself, your time, and your interest. Prison cannot take away what you have to offer your child. Prison can push you down, and make you feel worthless, but prison cannot make you worthless. Your child is interested in you, simply because you are the parent.
All children want to be cared about. All children want to feel that they are important to someone else. It is part of our upbringing, a part of us so deep and solid it can never be taken away. The need to belong is more powerful than almost all of the other needs we have. Your child needs to belong to a family. You are part of that family. Families are not defined by distance, location, or current events.
Families can be separated by time and space for years, and still maintain family bonds. On the flip-side, some families live under the same roof for decades, and they never bond.
Don't let the despair, the distance, and the space between you and your children, because of your prison sentence, keep you apart. My uncle had a tremendous saying, I heard it when I was a young father and I did not understand it fully at the time. After five children, I can say that I truly understand.
His statement was simple.
His statement was simple.
Blood knows blood!
It does not matter the time nor the distance, when two people get together, who share the same blood…they will know each other... It is as old as humanity itself.
My intention in this blog is to provide ways to help you keep in touch with your child. To keep your child in your life, and be as involved in their life as you are able to. I will discuss different ways, and methods for doing this. I will discuss different ways to improve your parenting, and make your child understand all that you have to offer. I will also be willing to read and answer any comments and questions anyone has who is the parent or spouse of an incarcerated person, an incarcerated parent, or any family member who is dealing with an incarcerated parent. I would also welcome the feedback of any professional out there who is dealing with this population and attempting to help parents and children connect. Until next time, thank you.
My intention in this blog is to provide ways to help you keep in touch with your child. To keep your child in your life, and be as involved in their life as you are able to. I will discuss different ways, and methods for doing this. I will discuss different ways to improve your parenting, and make your child understand all that you have to offer. I will also be willing to read and answer any comments and questions anyone has who is the parent or spouse of an incarcerated person, an incarcerated parent, or any family member who is dealing with an incarcerated parent. I would also welcome the feedback of any professional out there who is dealing with this population and attempting to help parents and children connect. Until next time, thank you.
